My Dad

My dad passed away Sept. 20th. It has been tough here is my talk from the funeral. This is the best way for me to write it.

Before I begin I would like to thank everyone for their support. As a family we were overwhelmed by the support from visitors, phone calls and all of you who are here today. I just want to say that all of this support has meant a lot to me personally, to see the love all of you have for my father.

I would like to begin by relating an experience that left an indelible mark upon me when I was a young teen. For all of us there are events and situations that leave permanent impressions upon us, of which we will never forget. This experience is one such event in my life. Of course as a teenager we note all the faults are parents have and consider them weird and unhip. The last thing we want is to become like them when we are in our teens. Many times when it would snow my dad would wake me up to go and shovel the walks. That meant ours and the neighbors. This is the first part of the impression my father left on me; doing good to all people. I had done this many times but this time one of the neighbors came out and helped me. We shoveled many walks. As we finished he looked at me and said the words that have remained with me. “You should do all you can to grow up and be like your dad.” At first my teen self rejected this notion. However, after careful reflection I realized a few things. My dad was a very good person and many people admired and respected him. This event was the springboard for me to realize the good qualities of my dad and begin to emulate them. I began to notice how even my friends respected him, there many occasions in which they would say, “Why don’t you ask your dad. If anyone would know it would be him.” I could come to him with questions about school, religion, and life. It didn’t seem to matter the subject, my dad seemed to know everything.
There was an occasion when my good friend Matthew Smith and I were at that stage in between teens and adulthood. Many of you know my dad has served as in the capacity of Gospel Doctrine teacher for a long time. At this particular time he had just been put in and there were two classes. We didn’t want to go to the other one, but I didn’t really want to go to the one my dad taught, so we didn’t attend either. After a few weeks my dad got wind of this and sat us both down. He gave us a quiz, 10 questions, we only had to get 5 right. If we passed we could continue our plan, if not we were to attend his class. Both of us knew we didn’t have a chance. We knew even before we wrote our ten guesses down that we would be attending his class the next week. And sure enough we did.
There are many great memories I have about my dad. As a youngster I remember waiting and waiting for my dad to get home from work. I was always excited to see him. In the winter I would build a barrier, load myself with snowballs and wait to welcome him home. We wrestled, played all sorts of games. The favorite of all of our friends was a game we called “Troll”. And yes my dad was the troll. My brother and I would gather all the neighbor kids and our friends to play this game. Basically my dad would chase us and if he caught us we have to go sit in prison on the front porch. We could be rescued if someone was able to free us. The one thing all those who played remember is how my dad eventually got all of us. He seemed to be as fast as lightning and always one step ahead. My dad always made time for us. I don’t remember asking my dad to play catch without him taking the time to play. We would throw the football, or play catch. I relished the time we spent together in these situations and hope I can be there for my kids the way he was there for me.
My dad had an infectious laugh. There is really not a good way to describe it other than if something struck him funny everyone and I do mean everyone knew it. At times we would watch a show after putting my kids to bed and he would start laughing, I was always worried he would wake the kids up, because he couldn’t really keep it down. It was kind of a one volume laugh. Each year on Christmas we watch the Christmas Story, but we aren’t allowed to start it until my dad is in the room. It didn’t seem to matter how many times he had seen a show he laughed as if it was the first time. More often than he was more entertaining than the movie itself.

When I was young my dad would read to me in bed, when I got older he still did, when I got older than that we read the same books at the same time. We would race to see who would finish first. I remember trying to steal the book from him so I could finish first. We would talk and discuss what we read. We continued to do this even until present. I will definitely miss our book club. My dad gave me a love for good literature, and the quest to learn. He would tell me stories about the history of this country. He was a learned patriot who dearly loved this country and its history. I can’t imagine there are many professors in the world who knew as much as my dad did about the history of this country, especially the war for independence and World War II. I don’t know too many people who enjoyed reading lengthy volumes about the Nuremburg trials. He did though and was rarely seen without a book in hand. At every family get together I can picture my dad with a book in his hand. I am now a history teacher and share his great love for the history of this great country. There was no one my dad admired more than George Washington. We spoke many times about his importance in history. I asked him one time for a good biography on Washington. He proceeded to rattle off countless books, and tell me about the authors and what he thought of each one. Even though I knew my dad was well versed, I was completely floored and impressed at his vast knowledge.
This knowledge wasn’t just about history, civics, politics, public policy, law, it was also about the world we live in, but most important to him was his knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. His faith was always unwavering and could be seen more from his actions than anything he ever taught in a class. My dad was a great teacher in word, but even more so in deed. He was an example of one who loved the Lord and would do all he could to be like him. When my dad was in seminary they had what was called the Seminary Bowl. They did not have this when I was in school. So to the best of my understanding I would say it was a competition between different schools where they would be asked gospel related questions. My dad knew so much he was nicknamed “Nephi”. Other teams would cringe when the Granite seminary team was announced and my dad was present they knew they didn’t have a chance. He could single-handedly lead his team to victory.
My dad was my first home teaching companion and taught me how to serve. Many of you know my dad grew up in this ward, later served as bishop, so when we would go and visit he knew the people extremely well. On our list were four elderly families: Bob and Idylle North, Ann Goodwin, Hal Meyers, Clarissa Merrill and her daughter and son in law Ray and Nona. Each family knew my dad very well and at times I felt out of place as they would talk of the past and how other family members were doing. We would spend a long time at each house and give them a chance to visit. At first I would get bored, but then I realized the love these people and my father had for each other. They were good friends and my dad was never in a rush to leave. My dad was serving them as the Savior would have with love and compassion, giving them time to visit and never to be rushed. One time I complained and the next month we visited each home, each family expressed how much they needed and appreciated the visit. I felt ashamed I had complained but felt of their love. I learned another lesson as after that as my dad decided I needed more responsibility so the burden of the lessons were placed on my shoulders.
My dad is an example of acceptance and finding common ground on which to build. He accepted all others regardless of who they were. He taught me to have a love of others and respect them. He always looked for the good in others. I was taught from an early age to accept others, a trait that has helped me in my current profession. For the past seven years I have taught kids who are considered at risk, meaning they are at risk of dropping out or getting involved in gangs, drugs, or prison. It is not always easy to be non-judgemental when you hear of what these kids have done, but when you hear of their past you understand more about why they act the way they do. Sure they need structure and to change their ways, but this comes much more from example than anything else. My dad was my example and I hope I can live up to all he taught me. His optimism and positive outlook on life can clearly be seen by how he lived his life.
When I was younger my dad told me that one of my best traits was that could always make the best of any situation and look on the bright side no matter what was happening. This meant a lot to me that he would say that, but I know that it was from his example.
My grandfather served his mission in New Zealand, my father served there, and I did as well. This always meant a lot to me and I know that it meant a lot to him. While I was out I ran into to people that knew him. I was even able to meet a man my dad had taught and helped baptize. I came to find out that one of my companions, Terry Kneale who was from Perth Australia, was baptized by a Sister Malouf. This same sister was a family friend of both my grandfather and father. It was neat to see how we are all connected and how the Lord loves each one of us.
My dad didn’t write me a whole lot, but there was one letter I will never forget. In it was a quotation from Pres. David O’ McKay. My dad expressed his appreciation and fondness of this quotation. It goes as follows, “Man’s earthly existence is but a test as to whether he will concentrate his efforts, his mind, his soul upon things which contribute to the comfort and gratification of his physical instincts and passions, or whether he will make as his life’s end and purpose the acquisition of spiritual qualities.” My dad was a great example of acquiring spiritual qualities. He was close to the spirit and easily moved to tears. He was a giving person who gave his whole life, never expecting anything in return.
There was an occasion in which my dad asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I told him I really wanted a copy of Believing Christ by Stephen F. Robinson. He showed me his copy, it was a hardback copy in which a limited number were printed. I thought it was neat. When Christmas rolled around I opened up one of his gifts and there it was. The same book. I was touched that he would give me his own limited edition copy. That’s the kind of person he was, he gave all he could to others, his possessions, his time but most importantly he gave his love. You knew you were a better person for being in his presence. Whether you were his son or daughter, brother or sister, cousin, or family of any kind, whether you were a neighbor or a co worker or client, a close friend or a newly made acquaintance everyone felt better and became a better person because they knew my dad.
My dad and I have always been close. We have a lot of the same likes and passions. I always looked forward to going to Jazz games with him. Not only because it was fun and I enjoyed his company, but because I knew he really liked going. It was something he looked forward to doing. In times past when me and my brother would get to take friends and my dad would take us out to Hardees for free fries and drinks after the games. It was a neat experience and one I will always cherish.
My dad loved my wife and my kids. He came over often, attended parties, and was there each Christmas morning bright and early to watch the kids open presents. We will miss snoring away on the chair, reading to the kids, playing with them, and praying with them. He was always there when we needed him. When my wife Janalynn broke her ankle this last May, he stayed in hospital through the surgery and the next day. When she gave birth to Porter he was there for hours giving of his love by showing support. My kids will miss their Grandpa Ron.
My dad was a good friend of mine. Rarely a day passed that we did not talk to each other. We would discuss all sorts of subjects, his favorites being the Utah Jazz, BYU and Utah Football, politics and history. We would debate and discuss and second guess together. At times we would talk late into the night with neither one of us wanting to end it. The other night I went to call him and realized I couldn’t I was saddened that our relationship would not be as immediate and the same. I will miss him for many reasons, but mostly because he is my dad and my friend.
I know he is happy where he is at. No longer bothered by the physical restraints he had. I know he is with my grandmother and that are happily reunited. He gave me the basis of my testimony and I would be remiss if I didn’t close with it. (Give testimony and finish)